The 30-Somethings
In The 30-Somethings, McKenzie takes the classic coming of age story and turns it into a collection of thoughts and stories broken up into three acts, designed to hold a really short attention span.
Elizabeth shares how her career-turned-business, her relationship with boys, and being human in this average ordinary-sized woman’s body have shaped her into being the loud-mouthed, semi-successful, semi-hot, self-important adult she is today.
Elizabeth will have you laughing out loud as she exposes the phenomena known as the internet #ladyboss, gives you friendly tips on how to trick boys into thinking you’re hot even when you’ve got a fruit-shaped body, and if you’re blessed to not be a fruit at all, then you can skip right to the section where she tells the fairytale story of how she eye-banged her boyfriend for the first time.
With the help of self-publishing, it’s never been easier for an amateur to pitch herself as the voice of a generation and impart lessons onto the unwilling world.
Reviews
“Elizabeth’s commentary in The 30 Somethings is a relatable and hilarious account in the failing upwards style. Her awkward anecdotes make you feel uncomfortable recalling your own experiences and then surprise you with a charming twist and life lesson ready and ripe for the picking, where the heroine ultimately prevails. Refreshingly honest and irreverent, Elizabeth rips the sparkly Snapchat filter from the world of online business and tells it like it damn well is, all the while establishing herself as your endearingly dorky gal pal with earned confidence, and just enough vulnerability.”
- CERI, HEALTHY PARTY GIRL
“The 30-Somethings is a hysterical account of a woman's journey toward self-realization. McKenzie weaves an easy-to-read memoir of her experiences going from a "wannapreneur" to a #ladyboss, from drunk and single to drunk and finding her guy, to finding peace in her own skin. She's got the killer combo of girl-next-door meets sassy comedian meets your new best friend wrapped into one, encouraging you to drop the drama to get on with your dreams and actually enjoy your life. Thanks to the author, I blurted out laughing more than a few times while flying on a plane, and for this, I want to thank her for embarrassing me in public, but mostly entertaining me between my busy schedule; not to mention, spilling her guts so I can take the next step with mine.”
- JULIET TURALSKI
An Excerpt
Because this story is about a 30-Something and most definitely not a 20-Something (tall, slim, and what 30-Something dreams are made of), I’m not going to talk about my former glory days as a Taylor Swift impersonator with legs for days.
I still have legs for days, but what sits on top of my legs is the apple.
I’m a walking apple. An apple with legs.
That’s the best description for my body I can give. I’ve got boobs, I’ve got a gut, I’ve got love handles, I’ve somehow managed to get some chunk on my arms too which I’m not pleased about. I get bloated from eating broccoli, and while some days I’m not so critical of my body type, at the end of the day when I strip off and get naked in front of the mirror, the first thing I do is look at my stomach and sigh.
Here’s the shit thing about comparing our bodies to pieces of fruit, even though fashion magazines will run articles like ‘How To Shop For Your Shape To Slay’ or ‘How To Hide Your Hideous Body Parts So The World Doesn’t Have To See But Still Feel Good About Yourself’, all in the name of helping us shop, become fashionable and supposedly be empowered. There’s something missing.
The fashion and clothes designers themselves didn’t get the memo that women’s bodies can be categorised into fruit types. Instead, they just keep on creating clothes that fit supermodels and Taylor Swift’s squad. So unless you’re fabulously huge and shopping at the Plus Sized Store For Sexy Bitches, we normal fruits don’t get anything except lessons in working out the best way to wear something designed for a 13-year-old boy.