The alarm goes off.
To stop yourself hitting snooze for the third time you start scrolling.
First through Facebook.
That’s where you liked three images.
The gram of the babe on a boat floating over crystal clear waters with tropical palm tress drinking a sugary cocktail called a Drunken Elf while still looking bangin' in a Baywatch style bikini, even though you know you’d bloat up in 5 seconds after smashing one of those.
The gram of the babe with impeccable ‘messy’ long hair which you know must have taken hours to get right and style who’s kissing her super hot, amazingly styled boyfriend with a huge ass rock on her finger with a hashtag saying #Isaidyes, and
The gram of the babe who’s sharing an outfit of the day that would make the mannequin’s at Gorman jealous, looking like her life is just one perfectly styled magazine with a backdrop of New York City, of course, and a giant cup of coffee in her hand.
You’re definitely awake now, and as you roll your sore body (thanks, personal trainer) out of bed to start the day you can’t help but look around, with your lack of rock on your own finger, your 80s style bathroom where you just straightened your hair because that’s the quickest thing to do with your mop, and your supermarket brand pod machine, you think:
This is it for me today.
Snoring boyfriend is anything by picture perfect. Make up required to cover the pimples from too much sugar. Corporate casual, and a totally dorky travel mug for your pod coffee.
This is your everyday and it’s unfair.
You think back to the photos you saw on Instagram.
I want to be on a tropical island drinking all the drinks and knowing I won’t get fat.
I want to be posting insanely sexy photos of me with the most photogenic man who proposed to me.
I want to be in New York City looking like I’m the fashion blogger who’s got style.
In your car you start scrolling through your old school CD collection. You find Destiny’s Child’s first EP. You take a perfectly posed photo of the CD in your car to share on social media later.
You don’t actually feel like listening to Destiny's Child today, so you plug in your bluetooth instead and go crazy on the Biebs.
Driving to work, you start thinking about your day.
It’s full of meetings and you’re getting the final three designs for the rebrand campaign back from the graphic design department.
After changing jobs for what felt like a million times, you finally landed the jackpot, and bonus: you actually want to hang out with the people you work with.
Your mind wanders back to those three Instagram images you saw this morning and you start to doubt yourself, again.
Is this it for me?
Get Up. Look Good. Go To Work. Go Home.
Sure, I’ve got a cute newish boyfriend but he hates social media so I can’t brag about it to the world on social media.
Sure, I’ve finally lost all the breakup weight I put on from my last relationship, and I’m looking pretty banging, but I have to work hard at it, and there’s no way in hell I could drink those sugary drinks even if I was on a tropical island right now.
Sure, I’ve got the career most up and coming marketing people would dream of, but it's stressful.
But every day you seem to wake up and feel like it’s not enough.
You laser focus in on how hard having back to back meetings is which means maybe your job isn't as good as you thought.
You laser focus in on the fact that your dude didn’t give you a goodnight kiss when you went to bed which naturally means he doesn’t love you as much as you think.
You laser focus on one particular phrase your boss said and read into it in all the wrong ways, questioning whether this job is in fact your dream job.
Why is it, that even though your life is freaking beautiful, you’re just not seeing it?
Why is it, that you seem to put on the 50 shades of jade lens?
Why is it that, no matter what you do, nothing seems to be enough?
I get it.
You’re a woman on a mission for more.
To get the hottest dress, the better body, the funniest story.
To have more holidays, and more money, and more stolen kisses with your man.
But, what’s this all in comparison to?
You know better than that.
You’re smarter than that.
You know how staged it is, because you’ve staged things yourself.
Hello the CD photo, which I know you’ve already brainstormed the most wittiest comment ready to upload for the drive home.
So, what it is then?
It’s the constant need to improve yourself and your life.
Which isn’t a bad thing.
But you’re missing the main event.
Your freaking life right now.
Which is goddamn beautiful by the way.
That’s right. In amongst last season’s ugly skirt that you threw out recently is your beautiful life you created.
You’re just not seeing it.
Take off the jaded glasses, they don't suit you anyway.
Because even in the hard, the shit, the ugly, the unpretty,
Your beautiful life is waiting for you to step into it.
Standing on the sidelines, judging yourself for not having, being or doing enough isn’t living.
You’re just a waste of time.
What you really need more of is actually living the full experience and participating in the world around you that you created.
The world is your legacy.
And it’s damn beautiful.